somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
this boner is exhausting
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize