That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
