just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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