So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize