He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
