my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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