Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize