I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
