No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
