i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize