Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
