I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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