I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like iHOP with fire
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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