So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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