bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
