What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
