I wannas sexs uuuuu
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
