My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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