Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I have aggressive nipples.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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