you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
