oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
