As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
His nipple licking is glorious
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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