That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
