I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
