it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
