I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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