I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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