It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
