She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
