god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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