Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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