I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
