8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
