If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
