I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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