thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
