I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
