I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
