I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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