I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is Oprah even human
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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