I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
