I'm so fucking centered right now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
