You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
