i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
