Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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