wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
