she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
