he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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