Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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