I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
