these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
