Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
