Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i drank out of a bidet.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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