I'm eating all of the evidence.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize