Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
