I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
