So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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