There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
