This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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