And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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