she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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