He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
