Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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