How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
